School Leaflet
a.)
Welcome To MIA!
Welcome to Marco Island Academy! There is so much to be excited for. Our school provides a wide variety of the best academic programs and classes that will set you up for a bright future. Starting at a new school can be nerve wracking and cause you a lot of unnecessary stress, but do not worry, here at MIA we are built as a home and are all family.
Schedule!
Managing your stress for the first week can be a lot. Getting comfortable here is what we all want for you incoming new students. Here are some key tips to get you situated and comfortable for your first year here! First, your schedule ensures that you are put in all of the right classes that suit your academic level. Get this done right away so if any changes are necessary, you won't miss any important information that is going on in the class you should be in. Our administration is very open to helping you be placed in the classes you feel suit you best.
Socialize !
Do not be afraid to make friends with your classmates! It is understandable that you are new, but get out of your comfort zone and connect with not only students but the teachers and administrators as well. If you are an incoming freshman do not be afraid of the upperclassmen. They are here to help you and guide you throughout your first year. Their part is to set a good example for you freshman, so if you see a senior in the halls say hello to them.
Be Involved!
Besides your academic education, joining the clubs that we provide at our school is extremely important. Clubs such as, key club, interact, and student government are great things to be a part of for colleges to look at. Aside from joining clubs for college, it is also a great way to be involved in our school. That is what Marco Island Academy is about, volunteering and going to our sports events shows great school spirit. You also are required to have 100 service hours by the end of your senior year, so this is a great way for you to reach that goal!!
We can't wait to have you join our school and become a part of the family!
b.)
As I was writing my leaflet for the school, I used structure, language, and form.
Starting off with the structure. I structured my writing in sequential order, meaning the process of the topics I was covering. I used short paragraphs that were organized by their specific topic. I feel that adding the headings per paragraph could catch the students attention because often students usually don’t actually read things like this. “ … Here at MIA we are built as a home and are all family.”
The language that was written was addressing the incoming students to our school. It was written with purpose and to inform the students who will be reading it about the tips and advice they should take from someone who has been in the school prior to this year. The tone that the writing was written in is informal because of the young audience. The vocabulary that I used to express my ideas using words that would catch the students attention. “nerve wracking and causes you a lot of unnecessary stress, but do not worry..” By adding reassurance that the new students will enjoy our school helps feel relief and less stressed.
The form of the writing is clearly a leaflet, the form of the text is important because of the audience it is addressed to. Since the audience is young students, using other forms of wiring would not have been appealing to read unless you were an adult.
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ReplyDeleteDear Victoria,
ReplyDeleteYou had 630 words in total, and you have good Content but the format of the leaflet is not done correctly. You should've had bullet points as paragraphs not literally but shorter paragraphs and shorter sentences. You could have split some of those paragraphs up into two or just use fewer words in those paragraphs. The reason I say this is because your audience are eighth graders and ninth graders that are coming to MIA and you don't want to overwhelm them with a lot of information all at once, you are also more likely to get their attention in paragraphs that don't look so scary to read.
You did a great job at addressing your audience and making it all about them, an example of this is when you say ‘Do not be afraid to make friends with your classmates! It is understandable that you are new…’ This is one of the sentences that I think represents that very well. Think you had a clear expression, your range of language was towards the common side and didn't use many extravagant words, You also had a clear organized leaflet and you addressed your audience very well. Overall you achieved what the prompt asked you to do but I don't think it was effective in the end. Yeah great contact as well. I give you AO2 8 marks.
Although you started out really well and strong in the beginning with 384 words, when commenting on your own writing I believe that you just did what was needed. You Could have expanded your commentary so much larger than what you did and that could really help you out with this paper. I think you could've done more than just one paragraph for each form, structure and language. When you commented on yourself and you're writing your commentary was only 242 words, which is very narrow and unspecific to what you wrote, doesn't really go into detail about what you did and why you did it. For AO3 I have to give you four marks because it was an unlimited analysis of your form, structure and language, it really didn't go into much detail. This was half of what you wrote for form, ‘The form of the writing is clearly a leaflet, the form of the text is important because of the audience it is addressed to.’ I'm going off of what you wrote. You could've written so much more. I just believe that this was poorly executed, when you started well off in the first part.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI think that this blog was written very good, you had organized the leaflet clearly by dividing up all of the topics that you had talked about. I also think that you had you had clearly expressed all of the points that you were trying to make with a limited amount of grammar mistakes. The sentence structure was also very good for the leaflet as well. I also liked the last sentence as a type of close off for the leaflet. I also think that you had followed the prompt well as you had talked about your school and gave some specifics, however you had sounded like you were convincing the student to go to your school when the prompt says they are already going. i do think however that you had addressed the audience in a great way. For AO2 i would give you 7 marks.
I think that your analysis was pretty good as well as you had done a very clear analysis of the form, structure and language used in your text but did not talk very much about the stylistic choices that you had used and the effects of them. For AO3 i would give you 4 marks. Great job!
Hey Victoria,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the reading of the leaflet as it was quite simplistic and straight forward, what some would dock, I think is actually a good use of prompt here. In keeping sentence simplicity your on the edge of having bland writing, but with the consistency on sticking to the prompt you avoid this. You had minor errors due to the focus on simplicity, but could have split the text into even shorter paragraphs. You did show a very clear expression, but lacked a range of language. Your text is clearly organized and ideas are developed clearly.
You focused on the audience of your writing which is why I believe you were able to make it so exact to the prompt. For this entirely you achieved the task and deserve an 8 for AO2.
As for the AO3 of your writing, the commentary was short with 242 words. If you would have expanded this I am sure you could have improved the score of it. This is because for what you did write, it was made really well. You made your commentary quite similar to the example commentary where you forwardly told the reader why wrote certain things that were dictated by the prompt. You used examples and provided a clear analysis of form, structure, and language. However, due to the volume of your writing, I cannot give you higher than a 2 since the words did in fact limit your response. This gives you 2 marks for AO3 with a total of 10/25 marks. Not bad at all. Just take away that you need longer response with the same quality for commentary and better linguistic choice and complexity in your writing, think about being unique whilst remaining on prompt.